


From Hell to Brooklyn

by Cloud_Lightning



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 12:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10967001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloud_Lightning/pseuds/Cloud_Lightning
Summary: “Big deal. I worked at a sunglass kiosk at the mall for four years. So not only have I been through hell, I was assistant manager there.”Or,The one where Lucifer and Mazikeen landed in Brooklyn instead of Los Angeles.





	From Hell to Brooklyn

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea while re-watching B99 to cried over dianetti and yeah this happened
> 
> This story would be still have one hell mess of a grammar if weren't for [koalabear77](http://archiveofourown.org/users/koalabear77), so thank you

The morning was going pretty well, actually. The ladies and gentleman already left, Maze was eating cereal in silence while watching Hannibal, nothing seemed to be missing or broken in their penthouse, no underwear or jacket was left behind; the place looked pretty clean and neat even after last night’s party. It was a win in Lucifer’s book.

Until someone opened the penthouse door and sang. “ _Good morning my loyal followers_!”

Lucifer dropped his whiskey glass and groaned loudly. Maze snorted.

Lo and behold, Gina Linetti was standing in the middle of the room.

“No, for the last time Gina, I will not wear that hideous thing you call an outfit!” Lucifer hissed for the nth time.

“Oh, come on!” Gina whined. “Don’t be such a baby! You’ll look good in it.”

Lucifer stared at Gina. He was wearing his sleep robe.

Dramatically, Gina sighed loudly. “Fine, you can use your real wings.”

“WHAT?!” Lucifer yelled. “Gina, are you mad?! Those humans can’t handle seeing my divine wings! Unlike you, which is still a mystery because how can you resist?”

“True,” Maze chimed in from the couch while munching her cereal.

 

 _“Oh, dang.” Gina said while she_ _blindly took one of the sunglasses_ _they sold,_ _price tag still intact. “Girl, did you eat a_ _flashlight for breakfast?”_

 _Lucifer and Maze were looking at each other. Lucifer’s face was shocked while Maze’s was gleeful.  She found a new respect for Gina._ _  
_

_They were currently inside the mall. I_ _t was way past the closing time,_ _but Gina insisted that they should return back because she left something. So Lucifer and Maze followed her._

_“Seriously, lower the brightness of your wings!”_

 

“Because I’m not like those humans, okay? I’m a different species altogether,” Gina said solemnly. “I’m like a higher being.” She gasped softly. “Am I an angel? Or a demon?”

“No,” both Lucifer and Mazikeen said at the same time.

 

 _“But seriously, who or what is she?” Lucifer asked one night while they went out drinking. Lucifer already considered_ _buying a bar or something because owning_ _a sunglasses_ _kiosk was_ _reminding him of Hell. And he went to Earth to forget that awful place._

 _He knew Gina was not an angel, or an angel controlling a human’s body. So, who or what was she?_ _  
_

_Maze shrugged. “Gina Linetti?”_

_“Not really helping, Maze,_ _” Lucifer grumbled before he took a sip of his whiskey._

 

There was a loud ping from Gina’s phone. She groaned. “Come on Luci, Captain Holt is waiting for me! We need your help! Use your wings, or wear that costume of KFC’s mascot, and you’ll be fine!”

Maze laughed out loud at the same time Lucifer yelled, “Gina that’s a bloody chicken! You can’t tell the difference?!”

“Well, I can, but most people can’t. All they see it’s a giant bird.” Gina shrugged.

“Maze, stop laughing and help me already!” Lucifer yelled from the kitchen.

“I’m currently looking for a costume shop that sell KFC’s mascot costume.” Maze waved her phone.

“NOT THAT!” Lucifer roared.

Gina cooed. “Finally someone is trying to help! Thank you, Maze.”

“As long as I can take pictures of Lucifer in that outfit.” Maze laughed while texting Rosa and Jake about the costume shenanigans. “Also, I just told Diaz and Peralta about this.” She laughed loudly.

“Oh bloody hell!” Lucifer groaned.

“Okay, gotta go now or Captain Holt will let me choose the music on the way home again.” Gina pointed to her cheek, Lucifer grumbled but he still bent down to kiss Gina’s cheek.

“See you tomorrow, Lucifer. I’ll text the address,” Gina said while making a beeline toward the couch to pat Maze’s head. “Be a good demon for today, okay? Don’t kill your needs to be a live bounty target or you’ll never get the money, Maze.”

“I know.” Maze rolled her eyes and let Gina pat her head. Why would nobody ever let her live this one down? She was distracted, okay? It was a poptart. Plus, that scumbag got what he deserved.

A loud ping distracted them.

“Oh look, I found a store that sells a chicken costume!” Maze said with mirth.

Lucifer groaned.

 

* * *

 

“Wait here, Captain. I’m gonna make sure all those tiny minds already in place!” Gina said while her feet were already bringing her outside the bathroom.

Holt cleared his throat and began his practice speech to the children. He should probably make the children happy first, right? Then after that he could deliver his eight point presentation. Should he throw some jokes in as well? How many jokes? Should he use a pigeon related joke? What kind of joke would these children appreciate?

“Gina, darling, where are you?” asked someone.

Holt must have been really distracted with his inner monologue about the presentation because he didn’t hear any footsteps. That was sloppy. He was too focused on this presentation that he forgot his surroundings.

“Mr. Morningstar?” Captain Holt asked back. The gentleman sounded like Lucifer Morningstar, but something was off about his voice. And why hadn’t the man approached Holt yet? He sounded lost.

“Oh, Captain Holt,” Lucifer said happily. Something was really off about his voice. Was he okay? “Have you seen Gina? She asked me to wear this hideous thing she called a costume and...”

“You’re wearing a costume?” Ah, so that’s why he sounded different. He also wore a costume.

“Uh, yes. Are you... Oh bloody hell!” Lucifer yelled. “Gina asked me to wear a costume to give you moral support, that or I’m the one that’s wearing the police’s hideous pigeon costume. But it looks like she pranked me into wearing a costume,” Lucifer hissed.

“You wore a pigeon costume, for me?” Captain Holt asked.

“Not a pigeon, a KFC mascot costume.” Lucifer scoffed.

You could see one person wearing a chicken costume standing in front of someone wearing a pigeon costume. Although to be more precise, the one with chicken costume was actually talking to the sink while the one wearing the pigeon costume was looking at the wall on the far side of the bathroom. But at least they stood near each other.

The sound of Gina’s laugh filled the bathroom. “Whoopsie! You look great, Lucifer. Also, Captain Holt, the children are ready to hear your presentation.”

“What do you mean I look great?” Lucifer yelled. “I’m wearing a bloody chicken costume!”

“Oh my,” Captain Holt said. “I hope it’s not really a bloody chicken costume, Mr. Morningstar, or you will give these children a nightmare.”

“Of course not, Captain Holt.” Lucifer was aghast. “It was just a swear word.”

Gina clapped her hands. “Okay, time to go now, Captain. Wait here, Lucifer, I’m gonna find Maze.”

“NO, DON’T! SHE HASN’T SEEN ME IN THIS COSTUME!!!” Lucifer yelled, even though he knew it was pointless if Gina’s laugh was any indication.

It didn’t take long for Maze to show up, and her first reaction was:

“Do you think tying and locking me inside a closet and taking away the penthouse key would stop me from...” There was total silence for a full minute until Maze laughed so loud.

“When did my life become like this?” Lucifer asked himself.

 

* * *

 

It took fifteen minutes for Maze to stop laughing, and then she guided Lucifer out from the bathroom. Obviously, Lucifer didn’t want to return to their place while still wearing the costume, which was why he was currently trying to take off the head costume.

“Maze, bloody hell, I can’t take this thing off!”

Maze was laughing while she recorded Lucifer trying to take off the mascot’s head costume. People were looking at them with concern.

“MAZE, STOP LAUGHING AND HELP ME, YOU USELESS DEMON!” Lucifer’s sound was muffled thanks to the costume.

Maze hit the share button on her Instagram account with a caption:

 

**demonmaze: lord of hell, or lord of chicken? looking good @lordlucifer**

 

It only took few seconds for the video to get likes and comments from the officers and detectives from Nine-Nine.

 

 **itshitchcockandscullybaby: hey lucifer,** **finger lickin good!**

**papaboyle: i would eat kfc for you, lucifer**

**detectivegenius: i can't believe i'm turned on over a chicken**

**ihateppl: nice prank @queenG**

**queenG: *winking emoji* @ihateppl**

**terryj: I didn't know** **Hitchcock and Scully have an** **Instagram profile**

**amysantiago: jake do you want to order kfc later @detectivegenius?**

**papaboyle: oh my, my, my, my!!! @detectivegenius @amysantiago**

**jakieboy: boyle!**

**amysantiago: boyle!**

**Itshitchcockandscullybaby: oh yeah, maze made this**

**demonmaze: hitchcock asked someone to have a** **threesome with him and scully, that’s some courage and i respect that**

 

Maze was snickering while reading all the comments, ignoring Lucifer trying to open the mascot’s head costume, until he hit a wall and fell.

“Is this a punishment from my Dad because I left Hell?” Lucifer was trying to get up.

After she was done reading the comments, Maze called someone. She only waited for two rings before Charlotte answered.

“ _What do you need, you little Demon_?”

“Your son needs you, looks like he lost his head.”

“ _WHAT?! But Lucifer can’t die here! What have you done, you little..._ ”

“Chill, Mama Morningstar.” Maze laughed. “You really need to make an Instagram account.”

 _“Well_ ,” Charlotte cleared her throat, “ _I asked Lucifer about it once, but he_...”

“Okay, I’m coming over there to set you up. After I buy a KFC Wings Bucket.”

“ _What the hell is a KFC Wings Bucket? They sell wings? Angel wings? In a bucket?”_

Maze rolled her eyes and ended the call.

Leaving Lucifer behind with him still wearing that costume.

“MAZIKEEN!!!” Lucifer yelled.

 

* * *

 

 

Captain Holt was the one who helped Lucifer take off his costume while Gina just gave him a thumbs up. Whatever that was for, Lucifer didn’t want to know. The captain said Lucifer was welcome to join their ride back to the public relations office because it was more easy for Lucifer to get back to his place from there. But he refused politely and said that he brought his own sweet car. If it weren’t for Gina, they would spend hours talking about cars.

He burned the costume in front of the school. Captain Holt said he wished he could do the same with his, but it was government property.

It was already night by the time he arrived at his place. Four years owning a sunglasses kiosk as the front for a money laundering place was so much fun. No one would ever think an owner of  a sunglasses kiosk was actually one of the top criminals here in Brooklyn. But ever since Captain Holt got transferred to Nine-Nine, Lucifer started to think of finding a way to spend his time there. Maybe he should listen to Gina and buy a nightclub or something. That man was trying really hard to turn things around, and weirdly, Lucifer respected that.

The moment Lucifer took out his phone, hundreds of notifications graced him. Lucifer grumbled when he saw the video. “Damn you, Mazikeen.”

Funny, actually. Because he could kill all these humans without breaking a sweat, and yet, he never did it. No matter what kind of embarrassing stuff the Nine-Nine made him do or how he and Maze retaliated, he liked these weird humans.

Especially Gina Linetti and Rosa Diaz. Rosa really knew how to torture people. It was such magnificent thing to hear and witness a human talk about torturing another human with such passion–that was one time, and no knew other than him and Maze and Rosa herself. He really wished he could have Rosa as his demon for Hell.

Lucifer almost closed the Instagram app when he saw it: Gina’s picture. Yes, he only followed Gina, and it was because Rosa distracted him while Gina took his phone and somehow figured out his passcode and used Lucifer’s Instragram account to comment on and like one of her pictures and follow her account. Yeah, he knew he could unfollow Gina, but whatever. Gina’s pictures were usually about the people she pranked, and well, Gina’s stuff.

The picture Gina posted was a picture of the team at some KFC restaurant. All nine of them sat together at a four person table squashed together. It didn’t have any caption, and the only hastag was “#b99,” but yeah, still got thousandths of likes and comment. Gina probably would just flip her hair and say it was nothing unexpected from her loyal followers. Anyway, that was not what got Lucifer’s attention.

Captain Holt and Terry were sitting in front of each other on the far side of the table, looking at their chicken with wild concern–although Lucifer couldn’t really tell with Captain Holt; that man was really hard to read. His deepest and darkest desire was to become the chief of police and make Nine-Nine become the best precinct. On Terry’s right was Hitchcock crying and hugging an empty KFC bucket while Scully sat on his left munching his fried chicken happily. Sitting next to Captain Holt was Amy. She looked disgusted. Lucifer thought it could be because of something Boyle said. The man sat between Amy and Jake, and the couple looked really disgusted while Boyle smiled so wide and looked so proud.

And then Gina and Rosa, front and center of the picture that was clearly taken by someone else because Gina was still holding her phone, and she would never let anyone touch her phone. No, not even the I.T guy. Rosa was drinking her soda, and she let Gina lean on her right shoulder. Gina’s smile was dazzling, as usual, and Rosa looked, well, calm. That was what set off the alarm inside Lucifer’s head because Rosa Diaz never looked this calm, other than that time where she tortured someone.

“Huh,” Lucifer said to himself.

 

* * *

 

“JACOB PERALTA! YOU DELETE THAT PICTURE OR I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE!” Rosa yelled.

“Oh come one! It’s not like every day we get to see Gina feed you fried chicken, and I want to cherish this moment for a long–“ Jake yelped when Rosa threw a bone at him. “Alright, fine! There, happy?! Damn, now I will never have anything to cherish that moment with.”

“Do you want to cherish your life or that dumb picture?” Rosa asked in a deadly tone. She let Gina took her french fries.

“Um, both?” Jake gulped. “Okay fine, my life!”

“Good choice Jake.” Gina smiled and threw a bone at him but missed.

“Seriously, don’t throw your garbage around.” Charles shook his head and went to take the bone.

“But don’t worry,” Gina stage whispered to Rosa. “I still have the picture if you want.”

“How?” Rosa scrunched up her nose.

“Oh Jake’s phone is synced with mine,” Gina said. “I could delete it.”

Rosa looked at the picture taken by Jake ten minutes ago. She smiled for three seconds and shook her head. “Nah, keep it. Just make sure no one else sees it."

Gina raised her eyebrow but didn’t say anything. She leaned her head against Rosa’s shoulder again and listened to Boyle tell about his weird culinary experience.

**Author's Note:**

> [This is where I hide from reality](http://nightwhite13.tumblr.com/)


End file.
